Cooking- Why recipes don’t really matter.
I like to say that cooking found me from a young age. As an avid observer, cooking was something that I could watch my father do once and then be able to replicate on my own. As I watched my father whip up his signature homemade Mac and Cheese and Fried chicken, I could never understand how he measured so precisely with his own hands. That was, until I learned that he didn’t measure anything. Somehow this man just knew what amount of salt was enough to bring out the flavor of whatever he was cooking. I was astonished and quickly tried to learn how to master the skill of approximation. At first, it was stressful. As a bit of a perfectionist and someone who doesn’t like to mess up, trusting my tiny hands to formulate the perfect Veal Milanese was frustrating. Every time I thought I made a mistake I wanted to start over and give up. Now, granted I was eight years-old, but I still wanted to make the most perfect dish. Each day was spent in the kitchen mixing different spices to learn how they pair together and testing different flavor combinations such as Cheezits and yogurt. I soon realized that observation wasn’t enough to master this skill, practice was far more important. After weeks of studying the Food Network channel and cooking on my own, I decided to turn away from even looking at a recipe. I have to admit, I was quite terrified, but as I put more trust in myself, I realized a number of things:
The only one inflicting pressure on me was myself-Self criticism is real, but with practice it can be managed in a healthy way
Cooking is SO subjective- what you and I think are good may be completely different, and THAT’S OKAY!
Mistakes are okay- If you are scared of failing, you may never take risks to try something new
Recipes are created as a sketch, not the definitive end product- Yes, temperatures are important, however the amount of seasoning on a dish and what those seasonings are is your choice. HAVE FUN!
As I realized each of these things I started to trust myself more in the kitchen. I used my mouth as the judge of how good my food was and opened myself to the advice of my family so that I could actively improve as a chef. I even started having dance parties in the kitchen, blasting Chaka Khan’s,“Ain’t Nobody” and Jill Scotts, “Golden.” Combined with my love for the arts, cooking became another way for me to express how I was feeling at any given moment. I started making dinner for my family every night, using my emotions to guide what I was going to make. If I was happy, I may have concocted a lighter, more colorful meal for my family such as Veal Milanese.
Veal Milanese
This was one of my first times making it on my own!!
If I was feeling stressed or frustrated, I would make a richer meal, such as Lasagna or Veal Parmesan. Today I am using all of these lessons to teach others to put more trust in themselves. I am actively trying to teach my mother to not use recipes anymore and even teach baking classes in my community. Over the past decade, my love for cooking has expanded to baking, being a chocolatier, and even bread-making. As science and precision gets more important with each of these skill, I still challenge myself to find the joy, in taking risks in the kitchen creating innovative designs that I never would have made otherwise.
Homemade Bonbons
I challenged myself to temper multiple different types of chocolate at the same time to achieve this eerie eyeball look!
My culinary skills bring others joy and that in itself is enough to make me stay away from recipes. So, that brings us to you! If you are struggling with cooking, whether you are a kid or a full grown adult, my advice to you would be this:
Start off simple- Make something basic, like scrambled eggs
Use recipes at first to help you understand how different flavors mesh together
PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE
Be open to criticism and surround yourself with people who want to see you succeed
Be open to A LOT of failure
Keep a journal or a document on an electronic device on the mistakes you made and how to avoid them
Once you get comfortable with following a recipe, try and see if you can replicate the dish on your own
Once you get comfortable with that, add your own flavor to the recipe until you are ready to try and make your own recipe!